The Kansas In Him

I think it's fitting that this post, for reasons which will soon become obvious, takes place in the Charlotte Airport, where, out a big window, I can see the Bank of America corporate headquarters.

Lots of weird things have happened to me in the past 36 hours as I auditioned for the Charlotte Symphony. Full Disclosure: I didn't win. The audition was semi-disappointing, and I have a lot to take away from that. The 45 minutes spent as a part of the audition process yesterday were an anomaly in the pseudo twilight-zone "is this real or am I in a cheap cellist's horror movie" that has been running since Sunday night.

Live update: 8:43 AM: I'm now getting laughed at (literally--they're both laughing out loud) by two people next to me in the terminal because a flight attendant walked by me and gave me the "you're taking THAT on the plane?!?!" look.  I'm trying not  to cry.

So on Sunday night, I make damn well sure that the apartment is safe for the cat to be alone for almost 2 days.  It tells you something about a person when their apartment is cleanest when the only inhabitant will be a cat.  Everything is going fine at the airport until the lady at the US AIRWAYS counter starts to put my cello, packed well with a disaster-proof travel case, onto the conveyor belt.  I quickly stop her and say "Hey wait! That's a fragile musical instrument! Could you have someone come up and take it to the plane by hand?" to which she responds, "This is a CELLO? We have a problem."

Indeed, we have a problem.  on US AIRWAYS, you can't check a musical instrument. After much bickering with the gate agents, I succumb to what is the only feasible option to buy a ticket for the cello and travel case.

Full Disclosure: I didn't look very closely at their baggage policies before I bought this flight. It is, ultimately, my fault.

I try my best to tell the US AIRWAYS people that my cello in a flight case is NOT going to fit into a seat.  They think otherwise.  I get onto the plane, which is an express jet. I can't even fit in the seat, and I bend at the knees.  Thank God it was an empty flight, and it could take up 2 seats next to me, sans seat cushions.

Unanticipated charges, as of 11/22/09, 9:45 PM: $409.

I get to the hotel and the concierge informs me that I have only booked one night through Orbitz, which is not the case.  I tell her this. She tells me to calm down. It's been a long day.  I give her my credit card, and say that i'll deal with that in the morning, after my audition.

I sleep, I get up, I practice, I play, I do not advance. That's the way it goes. It's only my second audition, so i'm trying not to be so discouraged.  I talked to a guy who was 20 years my senior who has been doing it for that much longer. It's a hard journey, but it'll be worth it.

Monday afternoon I go to a coffee shop and check my email and, somewhat reluctantly, my bank statement. New charge of $196 from the hotel.  Turns out I have to pay for that extra night after all. I consult Orbitz, and go back to the hotel, guns blazing. I might win this one. She'll let me know, and takes my contact info.

Unanticipated charges, 11/23/09 3:45 PM: $605

Morning comes, and there's an envelope under my door. It's my room charges. Another $165, for god knows what. I stayed two nights, they think I stay for 6. This one I do win. Gone, instantly.  It's the little victories.
So now i'm at the airport, armed and ready to do battle with US AIRWAYS over my extra charges. I am prepared with their baggage policy, that states the following:


Musical instruments

Musical instruments are considered a fragile item. Fragile items will be accepted as checked baggage if they are appropriately packaged in a container/case designed for shipping such items. Fragile items without appropriate packaging will be accepted upon the execution of a release furnished by US Airways relieving US Airways of liability for loss/damage of checked baggage.

Musical instruments are permitted as carry-on baggage as long as they can be safely stowed and have dimensions no greater than 75 in/190 cm (length + width + height).

US Airways allows customers to carry their musical instrument in the cabin with them if the instrument exceeds the size restrictions for carry-on baggage and/or the customer believes that the instrument is too fragile to be handled as checked baggage. To do this:

• The customer must purchase an extra seat for the instrument. Cost of the seat is the applicable adult fare for the portions of the flight that the extra seat is requested plus sales tax.
• The musical instrument must be secured in or against a window seat (not in an Emergency Exit Row).
• The customer must be seated in the seat directly next to the instrument.
• Seat baggage must not weigh more than 170 lbs/77 kg and must meet the size restrictions based on aircraft type.
• Cellos and bass violas will only be accepted as seat baggage.

As I read it, I can check my cello, because it's packed well. As they read it, I can't, because it is a cello. Apparently a cello or bass viola is not a musical instrument.  The above checking guidelines only apply to "guitars or something" as the US AIRWAYS agent so eloquently told me. I resign my quest. I go through security. That's where I am now.

The best thing about the Charlotte airport is free wi-fi!!! Thanks, google. it's their holiday gift. I check my email and again, reluctantly, my bank statement.  All of those charges have mysteriously disappeared. The hotel charges, the plane tickets, everything. I log out and log in a few times, still gone. I just logged in now, 45 minutes later. still gone. what gives?  Maybe the Gods of the BofA corporate HQ decided to turn their act around, or someone felt sorry for me (i've been getting a lot of pitied looks this morning) because I don't play the flute.
Full Disclosure: The TSA guy this morning said I should have played the flute. no joke.

So here I sit, 9:09 AM, about to board the flight back to NYC. One last adventure awaits, getting a big ol' flight case in an itty-bitty passenger seat.
Anyway, don't get me wrong.  Travelling with a cello is a hassle, but it's worth the hassle any day to be able to spend every other day making music.